Thought ya'll could use a bit of garden humor that I found.
Enjoy.

The REAL meaning of plant care terminology:

"A favorite of birds" means to avoid planting near cars, sidewalks, or clotheslines.

"Grows more beautiful each year" means "Looks like roadkill for the foreseeable future."

"Zone 7 with protection" is a variation on the phrase "Russian roulette."

"May require support" means your daughter's engineering degree will finally pay off.

"Moisture-loving" plants are ideal for landscaping all your bogs and swamps.

"Carefree" refers more to the plant's attitude than to your workload.

"Vigorous" is code for "has a Napoleonic compulsion to take over the world."

"Grandma's Favorite" -- until she discovered free-flowering, disease-resistant hybrids

...
I bought an ant farm. I don't know where I am
going to get a tractor that small!
- Steven Wright

I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.
- Richard Diran

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining,
the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing,
and the lawn mower is broken.
- James Dent

Vegetarians - nothing wrong with vegetarians.
Some of my best friends are vegetarians.
Admittedly, they're also quadrupeds....
- Peter Anderton